How does it feel to be told you’re not okay as you are, and that you need to overhaul yourself? This message appears too often in the professional world of “treating” adults with ADHD. It is insulting and inhibiting. One popular author and speaker claims to be healing ADHD. Try following his advice and see for yourself if you no longer have ADHD afterward?
Doubting your brain’s potential is not a place to start. Judgment impedes progress, according to research that I’ve reviewed. Acceptance and willingness, on the other hand, are foundations for improved functioning.
I could have written a book to make you feel bad about yourself and promised to fix your broken brain. But then I would have to live with myself for tricking you into believing that I’m your personal savior. Instead, I think you’re better off understanding and accepting your brain so you can get busy actualizing your dreams rather than dreaming about brainpower.
Negative thoughts about yourself may be your biggest problem, bigger than the symptoms of ADHD. People with average ability often accomplish more than people with genius IQs. Overachievers are not obsessed with trying to perfect their brains. I’m less impressed with how well someone sharpens his tools than how well he uses them.
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, author of My Stroke of Insight, said, “Stop saying you’re wasting time; it’s a waste of time to say it.” The opposite of wasting time is doing something. I believe that most adults with ADHD already have all they need to start and finish tasks. Dr. Russell Barkley said it’s not that adults with ADHD “don’t know what to do; they don’t do what they know.”
The youngest success story featured in my book was fifteen when I first met him. He underachieved in high school, and some of his teachers thought he was oppositional. One teacher told him that she understood him and knew he was going to do well. He is now a clinical psychologist conducting research at a major university. When I interviewed him for the book, he told me this: “Encouragement changes lives, and criticism makes you want to give up.”
Surround yourself with supportive people who will encourage you, and then start doing what you know.