My To-do List
I don’t see clients on Mondays, but I always have a long list of tasks for my so-called day off. My to-do list yesterday had fifteen items on it. I worked all day long and got one of the listed items done. If I had included on my list all the necessary things I did, it would have been thirty items long. Every task I completed was a priority, urgent and important, so it seemed. It’s time to call the professional organizer again. Turns out, that was on my list too…seriously!
You have probably heard that adults with ADHD prioritize horizontally rather than vertically, which is a nice way of saying that we don’t prioritize. All tasks on the list are equally important, or unimportant in any given moment, depending on how well our intentions—right now—are lining up with our values.
Phillip Moffitt talks about intentions and values in his book, Emotional Chaos to Clarity: How to Live More Skillfully, Make Better Decisions, and Find Purpose in Life (Hudson Street Press, NY, 2012). Moffitt credits Sharon Salzberg with teaching him years ago, in a meditation retreat, the practice of “starting over.” The lesson was simply to put the wheels back on the tracks without wasting time in self-defeating thoughts.
Emotional Chaos to Clarity is one of the most practical guides to living mindfully that I’ve read. You can have a bad ADHD day any day, for no apparent reason. Today, I will put the wheels back on the tracks. As I discussed with my professional organizer only a couple of weeks ago, keeping my notepad of obligations with me at all times has usually helped me be more seamless in getting things done.
Yesterday, I rushed to make my list and added to it impulsively, neglecting some tasks that were, in fact, both urgent and important. I responded too much to urgent and hardly important tasks (what was popping up in front of me). And I was too proud of myself for starting tasks that were important and not urgent. The pendulum had swung too far the other way, to non-urgent tasks, until the urgent and important tasks grabbed hold late in the day, too late to make it a truly productive day.
Part of my problem, when this happens to me, is getting stuck in a focused state of awareness rather than maintaining an open state. When making a list, it is challening to repeatedly return to an open state in order to stay mindful of the big picture. The big picture is where we normally shine. Adults with ADHD are exceptional, in my opinion, at seeing how parts go together to comprise a whole picture. We just don’t shift easily between the parts and the whole.
We have to “unplug” our microscopic attention to allow our big-picture mind to access its wide-angle view. This is why practicing mindful awareness is so important for us, not just on the meditation cushion, but in our daily lives.
Terry, good to read this, and hear from you here in North Carolina, where i am staying with my daughter Rita Romaine Rakestraw, who seems also to have the ADHD gene.
The whole household was turned upside down early this AM as her younger son, and husband and I looked for her car keys, which she found finally after going thru several garments, and all recollecting what she wore yesterday.
Also, her scattered way of keeping track of many projects is to have labels everywhere, kitchen door, kitchen floor, stairs, etc. all of which seems to be taken with a certain air of acceptance and distance by her very – to me – tolerant husband who seems to enjoy her creativity, gregariousness, etc, as an offset to his dead serious steady approach to life. (I will be getting a copy of your book to them, but they’ve made 17 years together which is better than I’ve managed.)
Now, as to me, I continue to misplace my bridge, (including front tooth) which Rita just found in a stack of clothes, probably fallen from my pocket, which lead to a comparative laugh on comparative ADHD…
so there you have it, the longer story may follow..See you soon, Howard M. Romaine
Keep on smiling anyway! : )